Slave labor

This popped up on my Facebook feed and I had to give it a moment to sink in. One- my babies are so big now. Geesh!!! Two, I barely recognize either of these former versions of myself. Neither of these people exist anymore. I mean, obviously it's me. I am not suffering some sort of out-of-body or multiple personality episode but these snapshots of Rachel 2010 and Rachel 2011 are strangers to Rachel 2018. LOL!!! Gotta love some good third person chat.

So, forget about analyzing these old versions- I can barely remember dinner last night- but I do know the 2010 version was sad and uncomfortable and the 2011 version was attempting to live out a life most people live at 20 while being 30 and the mother of 3. NOT DOABLE!!!!

So, Rachel 2018 is likely the most true version of myself I have ever been. I am closing in on 38 and feeling pretty confident that I have figured myself out. I am a few lbs heavier than I was in the pic on the right but I feel ok with it. I am doing the things needed to lose the weight I want to lose and it will happen in due time. I am confident in my relationship. We have rough times like any other couple but I know we are solid and what needs work can be worked on. I am finding a good place with my career. I will never make a lot of money doing what I do but I am good at it and for now (given my very busy mom schedule) it works. And lastly, I have a true idea of what I want the rest of my life to look like. AND we have a plan to make it happen.

I miss being 30. I feel old and tired and like the days are all the same. This is the season of my life right now. But I am hopeful for simpler.