Do I look pretty?
It crossed my mind last night, as my husband came to join me on the couch after his shower, that I have a deep and genuine attraction to this person. For the last 11 months I have been on and off the keto wagon. I am nearing my goal of 30 lbs lost (20 lbs more after that would be ideal but focusing on the short term 30 lbs for now) by the one year mark on Feb 21st. But this isn't a weight loss post so back to topic, genuine attraction.
Like many do, over the years together, we have both lost and gained weight. I struggle with the insecurity of looking a certain way. I don't strut around naked (you're welcome for creating that unfortunate mental picture) and don't ever want to be seen in less than my full uniform (leggings, tank, sweater/sweatshirt) when the lights are brighter than the moonlight or a dim candle. LOL!! I just don't think I look suitable. I feel vulnerable, unappealing and just unattractive to my husband. But, he has never said a word that would warrant this feeling.
So, it crossed my mind last night, that maybe, just maybe, he also has a deep and genuine attraction to me as well. We are nearing 40 (38 this year) and we have past the prime, good-looking time in our lives. Likely me more so than him (so annoying that men often get better looking as they age- well, until the nose and ear hair grow to a braidable length HAHAH). But maybe, I look fine to him. Maybe, like me, he sees past the extra weight and recognizes something deeper.
I want to be more confident for him. For me, of course, but also for him. For us. We are not affectionate as a couple. I hate it. But I think I created that in our relationship because I am not confident enough to be open to it. Do I look pretty? Good question, Rachel- do YOU think you look pretty......
Like many do, over the years together, we have both lost and gained weight. I struggle with the insecurity of looking a certain way. I don't strut around naked (you're welcome for creating that unfortunate mental picture) and don't ever want to be seen in less than my full uniform (leggings, tank, sweater/sweatshirt) when the lights are brighter than the moonlight or a dim candle. LOL!! I just don't think I look suitable. I feel vulnerable, unappealing and just unattractive to my husband. But, he has never said a word that would warrant this feeling.
So, it crossed my mind last night, that maybe, just maybe, he also has a deep and genuine attraction to me as well. We are nearing 40 (38 this year) and we have past the prime, good-looking time in our lives. Likely me more so than him (so annoying that men often get better looking as they age- well, until the nose and ear hair grow to a braidable length HAHAH). But maybe, I look fine to him. Maybe, like me, he sees past the extra weight and recognizes something deeper.
I want to be more confident for him. For me, of course, but also for him. For us. We are not affectionate as a couple. I hate it. But I think I created that in our relationship because I am not confident enough to be open to it. Do I look pretty? Good question, Rachel- do YOU think you look pretty......
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